Ten years ago, a book came out called “I Don’t Know How She Does It”. It was written by Allison Pearson and it spoke to so many who were trying to do it all.
I don’t know about you but my only question at the time was “why does she want to?”
This was me 10 years ago, I hadn’t even met the man yet who would become my husband, no kids, living a free and single life and even I was exhausted at the thought of doing all the things the main character was trying to achieve.
When did doing everything become the goal of how we live our life?
Did I miss a memo? In my 14+ years of working in training, coaching and development, I have always hammered on about the need to not do everything and yet our society continues to tell us different.
That book may have been written over 10 years ago but little has changed. We’re still bombarded with messages about ‘Superhero’ people running successful businesses, getting the dinner ready (from scratch!) and spending quality time with the kids.
People who show you really can ‘have it all’
When in reality, you’ve got people who are fighting exhaustion all the time, worrying incessantly about whether they’re a good parent or not and if they will make enough money this month to cover the bills or pay that credit card off.
“People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.”
I love this quote because yes, I believe we are leaning our ladder against the wrong wall. We have been peddled this myth of attaining the elusive ‘work-life balance’ when in reality we’re actually aiming at the wrong thing.
We cannot have a work-life balance because it doesn’t exist and once you start on that path, any little thing can throw you off-balance and make you feel like you’ve failed.
The truth is we need our lives to blend. There will be times when you work like a Trojan and there will be times when you are fully with your family. But the idea of a balance has people thinking equal time has to be spend with both and it just isn’t true!
It’s not about quantity – it’s all about the quality!
In the work that I do with business owners and professionals trying to achieve great results and raise their families consciously with limited time, I share my top 3 tips for living a guilt-free life…
- Stop trying to do everything. You need to admit to yourself you can’t do it all. Once you put it out there, you will actually be amazed at the level of support you’re surrounded by – it was always there, you just couldn’t see it
- When you’re with your family, be with them. When you’re working, focus on that. Your internal guilty fights only affects one person – YOU. It’s time to stop.
- Forgive yourself for not being able to do it all. It might sound strange but trust me, you need to do a whole lot of forgiving. I really struggled with this. I constantly told myself “I should be able to do it all” and when it became obvious that I couldn’t, I knew I needed to forgive myself and let it go!
Having a work-life blend means you’re more willing to be in the flow of life than trying to hold onto everything with a tight rein. When you’re holding so tight, your entire body, mind and spirit is taut and tense and nothing good ever comes of that!
Go easy on yourself, lighten your load and relax!
It’s all about the blend, not the balance!
For more helpful hints and tips on how to get BIG results with your tiny time, grab your copy of my free ebook “20 Sanity Savers for Busy Biz Mums” here or copy and paste this link: http://bit.ly/yvsanitysavers
Yasmin Vorajee, creator of Tiny Time, BIG Results